Those Ruddy Wild Thoughts
by Hermy-Weasley2
Summary: DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS  11yearold Teddy Lupin has a question for his godfather


Those Ruddy Wild Thoughts

Disclaimer: If I owned this, or thought I owned it, would I be writing fanfiction?

Summary: 11-year-old Teddy Lupin has a question for his godfather

Teddy climbed upstairs into the room he slept in while he stayed with his godfather. His grandmother, Harry, Ginny, James, baby Albus and the entire Weasley clan and some of their friends were downstairs eating and talking. It was just a get-together for no real reason, but the main topic of conversation was Teddy's first letter from Hogwarts.

[iTeddy, dear!" Andromeda called into the kitchen. "Your letter's here!" Teddy knocked his plate of toast into the floor as he leapt to meet his grandmother in the hall.

"Oh, it says I have to go to Platform 9 ¾ at King's Cross! And I need a wand and robes and…and…!"

Andromeda smiled watching Teddy spouting out the contents of the letter. "I know, Sweetie. Listen, we're going to have dinner with everybody at Harry and Ginny's tonight and then tomorrow we'll go into Diagon Alley and get your things for school."

"Oh, dinner! I can tell everybody! But can I at least tell Harry now? I don't think I can wait until then."

Andromeda nodded but couldn't help but chuckle as her grandson darted to the fireplace, tossed in the Floo powder and stuck his head into the flames.

"Harry! Ginny! Anybody!" He called into the Potters' sitting room.

"Teddy! What is it buddy?" Harry answered.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got my letter from Hogwarts today," Teddy announced coolly as Ginny

appeared over Harry's shoulder carrying a fussy Albus.

"Are you excited?" She said warmly.

Teddy tried desperately to swallow the giddiness on his face and answered "Maybe a little. It's kind of cool."

"Yeah, I bet, you'll have to tell us about it at dinner."

"Yeah. See ya then!"

"See ya Teddy!" [/i

Well, between breakfast and dinner word had gotten around fast. Teddy and Andromeda had arrived at his godfather's house first and everyone who followed seemed to have something to say about his letter. Victoire, Miles, Fred and Gideon had made sure to sit as close to Teddy as possible to ask him questions, Percy told him to make sure to do all his homework and to stay out of trouble, George was saying something about a secret passage before Percy shushed him quickly, Neville and Hannah had started a playful argument about whether he should be in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. Charlie, Harry, Ginny and Cara went off on a rant about Quidditch, and James had tried to convince everyone he was going to Hogwarts too.

Teddy was a shy boy but still smiled just as broadly at all the chatter and ado about something he was so excited about, but his heart crashed as a thought entered his head. It was one of those thoughts that puts itself together in your head. You don't know where they come from, but they're there and you can't get them out.

[i"Yes, it's too bad the Ministry had the mindset it had back then. Remus would've made a great Auror," Kingsley said to Bill and Mr. Weasley as Teddy passed their corner table (they all just couldn't fit at one table anymore).

"Tonks was shaping up to be a real good one too, from what I heard. If she had actually been working for the Ministry while she was, well, working for the Ministry, she would've gotten the recognition she deserved. " Mr. Weasley added.

"They were both great. They really deserve to be remembered. I'm glad they are in a lot of ways." Bill had thrown his two cents in.[/i

Maybe Teddy was just old enough to draw in the cynical realties of the world to form these kinds of thoughts and by far young enough to believe them, or maybe he had misunderstood, but the thought popped into his head that everyone around him was so excited, not for him, but for his parents' memory. It wasn't that he didn't love and respect his parents, in the way an orphan in his situation did, but he had been so sure that everyone loved [ihim[/i too, and not just his parents. He waited until no one would notice and slipped away.

So, there he was, wondering why everybody loved and, really, if everybody loved him. He tried to tell himself he was wrong, but the thought just wouldn't go away. He stared around at his room. It was covered in Quidditch posters and bookshelves. Harry had put them in for him—or had he put them in out of some obligation to his dad?

It turned out that someone had noticed Teddy leave. Harry caught sight of his godson's suddenly down-trodden face going up the staircase and had decided to give him a head start before he followed him.

Teddy heard a knock at his door. "May I come in?'

"Yes." Teddy grunted in response. Harry stepped into the room with a smile on his face.

"What's up? Why're you up here when all the fun's downstairs?"

"I dunno," Teddy shrugged, now staring out his window.

"Ah, now, yes you do," Harry goaded, settling in next to Teddy on the bed.

"It's nothing. You wouldn't understand," Teddy mumbled.

"I might. Try me."

"No." Teddy turned away from the window and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Harry mirrored him.

"Teddy, tell me. I promise I won't tell, and if I don't understand I'll leave you alone."

Teddy took a deep breath. He didn't know if he could get this out. Part of his brain was telling him he was crazy to think it, but the other part was telling him it was true. He stared at the floor, determined not to look Harry in the eye.

"Dyooluvme?" He managed to get out.

"What was that?" Harry had understood it perfectly, having spoken like that on several occasions himself.

"Do you love me?" Ted repeated with more determination, but this time turning his face to Harry's. "Does anybody love me? Or are they just nice to me because they knew my mum and dad?"

"Oh, Teddy, I do understand," Harry put his arms around his godson's shoulders. "We all love you. You're one of the family here. We've known you since you were a little baby."

"Like Albus and Rose are now? Or like the new babies that are gonna be here soon? Everybody loves them, but they don't have to, do they?" Harry withdrew his arm. Teddy's voice rose to a level of defiance that seemed to be rearing its ugly head out of early puberty.

"Nobody has to love anybody, Teddy." Harry said sternly. "But, we all love you. you, Teddy." Teddy looked down again. Harry's voice softened. "You know that, and it's never going to change, all right?"

Teddy didn't answer, but there was a knock at the door, open this time. Hermione was standing there, red-faced and smiling. "Teddy, the kids wanted me to tell you they're playing hide-and-seek in the garden. They want you to come."

"I dunno," Teddy mumbled. Harry nudged him with elbow.

"They'd be really disappointed if you didn't. I know you get tired of hearing this Sweetie, but you're the oldest and you're like a hero to them." Hermione chuckled and placed a hand over her swollen belly. "He just kicked,' she threw in as a side note, shrugging.

Teddy's face lit up. "It's a 'he'?"

"I think so this time, yes."

"Woo hoo! Another boy!" Teddy shouted. Harry and Hermione chuckled. Teddy started to dart past Hermione but stopped and turned back to Harry.

"I'm sorry I yelled like that." He said directly.

"Oh, I still love you." Harry winked. Teddy smiled and was out the door.


End file.
